If I am attracted to the same-sex, am I gay?

I remember over ten years ago having this conversation with some of my friends.   If you have some form of sexual relations with a person of the same-sex, but you believe  they are the opposite sex, does that make you gay?  Shouldn't intent be part of the category? For example, I let a women give me a blow-job, then discover that the woman was a man.  This doesn't make me gay, my attraction to women has not changed, but I can no longer play any drinking games that involve "truth" statements.

Then, there is the "prison clause" of being gay.  I have often heard that it is "acceptable" to be with the same sex if you are in prison because a "person has their needs."  This statement is a complete crock of shit if you ask me.  I am not judging, but either you are attracted to the same sex or your not.  I don't think that the prison clause makes you gay, fucking another man makes you gay! So you are just utilizing the people close to you?  Then you are a user.  I mean, alright, maybe it doesn't make you gay to fuck another man, but it means you participated in homosexual relations.

Participating in homosexual relations doesn't make you gay.    Just like participating in heterosexual relations doesn't mean you aren't gay.  It goes both ways, sorry for the pun.  An old friend once said that perhaps we should view homosexuality on a continuum not a "one or the other."  I can appreciate looking at someone of the same sex that is attractive.  I may even enjoy a fantasy, once in awhile that involves the same-sex.  But that doesn't make me a homosexual.  It does mean I am more Open than the homophobic (who I believe has blazing homosexual tendencies waiting to burst).  On a homosexual spectrum of Black to Purple (out of closet homosexual) I am somewhere in the middle.  Perhaps Red, I don't plan on touching the same-sex sexually or lusting after the same-sex, but an erotic novel, movie, or nasty talk with my partner about same-sex doesn't send me running for gun.

I also believe in this spectrum, because I have friends who have done some experimenting, from kissing to threesomes, to twosomes but that is not their partner of choice.  They aren't bi-sexual, just a little freaky!!
But try having this conversation in everyday America, someone listening or walking by will say WTF?

Correctional System

The correctional system is possibly something I will blog about more rather than less.  I understand why we have a correctional system, I even understand why some rules are in place.  But in this WTF blog I ask "Why does logic have to go the window?"  I mean seriously....

An addict can't get treatment until the end of sentence.  Why not offer treatment up front? It would make a lot of sense. Perhaps too much sense.  There are many advantages to offering programs in the front end of a sentence.  Even sex offender treatment, why not offer it in the start of a sentence and then have mandatory groups for those that complete treatment while in custody.  Perhaps then those that are faking it to make it, won't be able to fake it as long.

Why does the staff in a correctional system have to be so rude to family and offenders?  Is it something that is taught in DOC training -- How to be rude to family 101!  I understand, someone we love has made a mistake and you have to deal with a lot of family members with all kinds of attitudes.  But don't act like you know what we are thinking, why we are asking a question, or that you know.  Because unfortunately, some family members know the system better than staff. They have been through this over and over (hence their own frustration).  When a family member tries to explain anything to staff or let them know they aren't dealing with a "DOC Virgin" they get talked down too.  Does the staff feel threatened?

Staff members know that DOC makes mistakes.  Everyone knows that no system is perfect and I have never met anyone who expected a system to be perfect.  Then again, shouldn't a system that deals with so many people that are returning to society, show more effort?  Isn't it possible that in a society where so many people are of some form of supervision or have been -- that it is worth it to get it right.  If an error has been made, correct it.

I will deal address more specific WTF feelings of loved ones in another blog.  I just needed to unwind.

Mind your own Damn Business

It has happened throughout my life, people who "care so much" they find it beyond their self-control to mind their own damn business. They justify their actions as "being for your own good." Now, I am not talking intervention for drug use, hording, or suicidal behavior. I am talking about who I date, who I choose to be friends with, who I decide to love. Really?? You are so high and mighty that you can judge others. At first the anger is overwhelming, then it turns to almost a sadness in my heart for that person.

Many, many, many years ago -- I was told I could not date someone. At that time it was for a reason that was deemed acceptable reason by some and and inexcusable reaction by others. I was like Cartman and "did what I want." It did not end bad or miserable. My life did not spiral out of control because of my decision. I was a grown person making grown person decisions and living with those consequences. Have been for many years now. As I write, I see how angry again I become. FF over 15 years and it has happened again.

What is it about me that suggests that is alright to interject your beliefs and thoughts onto me. This is beyond suggesting inviting me to church or to read a book - goes a bit further than recommending a movie or show on TV. This is like suggesting what pj's I should wear to bed or what kind of birth control I need to use. You know, PERSONAL shit!!

So to those of you who think you "know what's best" for people in your life. Perhaps reflect on people out of your life to see if your should "Mind Your Own Damn Business"

Wal-Mart

I hate Wal-Mart. I have not always hated Wal-Mart, it has been a more recent development. Back in the 80's wasn't it Wal-Mart who said "buy America?" Isn't their brand "faded glory" a reflection of that time. Now, it is hard pressed to find anything in Wal-Mart made in USA.

It seem it all fell apart when Sam died!

I will drive to eight other stores, Target, local grocery store, Dollar General, another local grocery store, Borders, thrift stores (several), used book stores..... to avoid entering Wally World. (How did it get this name? The miserable vacation destination for the Griswalds)

Am I the only one who wishes I had my camera EVERY time I go in Wal-Mart? I see at least 5 people that I want to publish on People of Wal-Mart. You know, there is some teen somewhere saying "Ma, Ma... I opened my email and you are on People of Wal-Mart again!!" Or how about, "Pa, you didn't wear your hunting clothes with deer guts on it to go buy your permit did you? You are so busted on People of Wal-Mart 24"

I have a deep desire to sit inside Wal-Mart for many hours and watch people. I really want to disguise my camera and take pictures to post to the most recent social networking site. Now that is Buy America -- online to show the world, the best of the USA.

What the Fuck?

WTF? The holidays came and are gone. All the excitement for what - 7 maids a milking? For another year of my family proving that they do not not know who I really am or what I do. Another year to show that materialism really does rule the USA. This year was suppose to be different, cut back, less things, money is tight.

Now how do you not appear unappreciative, when you get things that just aren't you? Year after year. I mean, I can't be the only one right? But in my family, it would seem inappropriate and unappreciative for me to say - get me something different than the other 10 females you buy for.... and then, seriously, another boyfriend/girlfriend this year at the holidays?

When is an appropriate time to introduce a new person to the family -- at the holidays? Perhaps one year or 30 fucks, whichever comes first. In my family - guess which one comes first?